Guide Adoption My Story from the Beginning

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Children LOVE to hear their story. Whether they are biological children that want to hear about the 10 hours their mother spent in labor, or children of adoption who want to hear about how you got the news that you would be a family, all children want to hear their story. From the very beginning, I talked to my children all the time—from the second I held them as infants I told them how loved they were, how wanted they were.

These are the beginnings of their story. Do not make this harder than it is. You are telling their story, the story of how you became a family. Mementos — One of my children has a blanket that was given to them at the hospital where they were born.

Failed Adoption Was Not the End of My Story!

If your child has a special blanket or gift they were given when they were born it is a good place to begin. They are natural transitions. Children LOVE to look at pictures of themselves. Let the pictures help you tell the story.

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This is not hard. Really it is not a whole lot harder than parents who have their children biologically, trying to explain how the baby got in there. Just like that is not a topic that biological parents are including in their story right away, you will not be including some of the more adult aspects of adoption in your story. Save those for later when it is more age appropriate. If you share an open adoption with visits, your child may already recognize the birth family, but telling the story more will help your child piece together their context as much as they can at their age.

My children also enjoy looking at their baby books. We look at pictures and little footprints and talk about what it says we were doing before and after they were born. It was so difficult when people asked what I was going to name my baby, or if I was excited. But I was honest with every person who asked.

I told them my baby was being adopted, and his parents were going to decide on his name. I feel this kind of prepared me for what was going to happen after birth.

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I also told myself over and over what I was doing so I did not back down at the last moment, which I knew I had the legal right to do. It also was helpful, because after I gave birth to my son, people were not constantly asking where my son was, which would have made it harder for me to heal. Months passed, and I finally went into labor! I called the adoptive parents, and they were on their way immediately. We all wanted to meet our baby boy! It was the most amazing labor experience I have had.

Failed Adoption Was Not the End of My Story! | FosterClub

They talked me through every contraction, and you could just feel the love in the room. After my son was born, I got to hold him first. He was so handsome that I immediately fell in love. It was hard to let him go out of my arms, because all I wanted to do was hold him and never let go. But when the doctor handed him to his parents, they were crying tears of joy. I knew then that this was the most precious gift I had given to anyone. I was proud. We all spent two days in the hospital. I got to spend time with his parents and with my son alone.


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  8. I was dreading going home without him, but I knew it was not the end of our relationship. I will not lie to you this will be the hardest part: being in the hospital counting down the minutes until you will go your separate ways. But please remember, through open adoption, your paths will always meet again. Then they went home. The reality of it all really did not set in for a few weeks, but when it did, it hit me hard. Seeing pregnant women was very difficult for me.

    My Parents Gave Me Up For Adoption

    Even looking at some pictures of my son was difficult. Even so, I did not constantly have to ask myself if what I did was right. I knew it was right. So even through the pain I was feeling, I thought of it as something I went through for the love of my son. I love to watch him grow and see how happy and healthy he is. I catch myself smiling every time. I have grown so much through the experience of placing my son.

    It has made me a better person and a better mother.


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